Friday, August 29, 2008

A Poem from Teapot!

Following on from my pompiers post, dear Teapot, who posts on another forum I belong to (and who professes not to be fixated on my breasts) sent me this fab poem by Pam Ayres. I'd just like to know how come she knows so much about me!

So, here it is, probably breaching copyright for which I'll have the 'cul' sued off me, but hey, it's too good not to share!

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits

By Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,

Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,

Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.

It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,

And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things

When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.

And although they go well with my Bingo wings,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,

When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,

When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,

Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,

From the men on the site to the men in the suits,

Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,

Cruising around with my favourite suitors.

Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,

When they're less in the air and more near the floor,

When people see less of them rather than more,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

2 comments:

farming-frenchstyle said...

Yes, I know the feeling. She should try driving a very bouncy tractor - one hand on the steering wheel the other trying to keep said tits under control!

(Very) Lost in France said...

FFS - these men have no idea what we women have to go through! While I'm more on the small side I can still remember my discomfort bouncing through the African bush while on safari. VLiF