Monday, June 1, 2009

WARNING! WARNING!

The CH has announced ominously that 'tomorrow I will be doing the bathroom'.  Those long term readers will remember that DIY really isn't our thing so I feel it only fair to send out due warning of impending doom.

Actually, 'doing the bathroom' really just means removing the manky old tiled bath surround, complete with feature wooden shelf that is probably growing the cure to the common cold, Swine Flu, Bluetongue and every other ill of the modern world.

Really I'd like to gut the whole bathroom. It's OK but very tired ..... and worst of all, all white. White floors, white ceiling, white walls. White is alright unless you happen to be married to a dark haired man who's losing his hair. Sadly, with our credit well and truly crunched and the CH having been on gardening leave for the past 5 months while ITV re-runs Ballykissangel and On the Buses, it's not an option.

The bath surround has proved to be a classic feat of French building. It's held together by little more than tile adhesive and grout and how it's lasted this long is a mystery. But not for long. The CH has carefully removed all the tiles and cleaned them up and from tomorrow he will be rebuilding it.... better...... stronger.....faster than before. Sorry, got a bit lost in 1980s television for a minute there.

Bearing in mind that when he took the lid off the toilet cistern, a simple job which involved unsecrewing the flush button and lifting it off, we NEVER managed to get it back on properly ( in fact most of our friends have also failed to get it back on properly either) the chances are that the whole bathroom will collapse or he'll electrocute  himself or burst a pipe.... the options are endless.

Therefore, it is my civic duty to advise you all that tomorrow the CH will be doing DIY. This may be my last post and, if so, it's been real and it's been good... but it hasn't been real good (Oh the old ones are the best eh?).

Keep away. You have been warned!

4 comments:

Not Waving but Drowning said...

I sympathise.

I daren't use the light above the sink in our inherited bathroom, (it blows every light in the house)
and the whole bathroom was obviously installed by "Bodget and Scarper".

As I blew the replacement money on Sir P's UK medical check, I'm just living with it.

If ever I need a cheap perm I'll just switch that bathroom light on!

GG

Le laquet said...

Oh dearie me ... that's 5 days then - is he finished yet?? Or have you moved to the local etap hotel so you can shower?

Shakespeare's Housekeeper said...

Helloo VLiF!
Ye Gads...bathrooms.
Best of luck, i say- hope it's not too traumatic for you.
I've got 'a man' coming to have a look at my ballcock(ooh-er)this week- i've got water pouring down an outside wall and damp starting to wend it's way through to DD's bedroom...This is the fifth attempt at fixing it.
SH xxx

(Very) Lost in France said...

NWbD - Ha, sounds like a socket I used to have in the bathroom... still can't get used to having sockets in the bathroom. Everytime I used the hoover, the metal nozzle would become live. Still it's all disconnected now so no more excuses for not hoovering in there! VLiF

Le Laquet - yep, more than five days now and the bathroom is still in bits on the floor for me to fall over, stub my toes on, swear at. At least we have another one. Still, he's in there now beavering away.... VLiF

SH - and where exactly have you been young lady? It's been weeks since you've posted. Ah, but I see you have now so I shall pop over and have a read. Nice to see you back. VLiF x