Yes, in their bid to regulate every single facet of our lives (well, not mine obviously) the French government's microscope has fallen on the crazy world of linedancing. How could they, for so long, have missed an opportunity at screwing money out of a band of happy amateur dancers? How could they have let it go unregulated or so long? How very un-French!
Linedancing is the new French revolution with, apparently, thousands of 'femmes d'un certain âge', clad in unflattering swingy skirts or showing off their muffin top above obscenely tight jeans, shod in dodgy cowboy boots achy-breakying their way around France, with new clubs starting up every week.
I've even heard that in Paris they are planning to try and beat the world 'mass linedancing' record which was set a few years ago by 1780 dancers.
In their own particular gallic way, the French government, the only one in Europe apart from Greece to regulate leisure activities, has proclaimed line dancing a sport. Clearly they haven't been to our local 'danse country' or they would instantly realise the error of their ways. I've seen more sport in the Embassy World Darts final or possibly even an amateur coarse fishing contest.
From now on, teachers will have to take a state run exam, a Brevet d'Animateur Fédéral, in order to show a few step-hitch-kicks to a bunch of mamies - and the odd papy too. No doubt anyone who fails to comply will be fined at best, guillotined at worst.
The new course will last a week and cost 180 euros which goes straight into the pocket of the government and all the dances will have to be officially codified in order to be taught. Any new dances will have to be approved and notated by the Linedancing Police before they can be taught.
Now I know why the next Olympics are in London. The International Olympic Committee were probably worried that the French may try to get Linedancing admitted as an Olympic sport.
Lover of the craze worry that it may collapse under a vast heap of administrative red tape and be regulated out of existence.
Well, we can only hope!
Appearing soon at a Salle des Fêtes near you!
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