Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Who dun gone and tagged me?

Help, help, I've been tagged by Jaywalker. Now I'll have to tell you something about myself......or will I? I'll leave you to decide..

1. Where was I 10 years ago.

Now that one's easy. I was heavily pregnant and wallowing around like a Minke whale on steroids eagerly anticipating the arrival of DD. She was transverse (lying sideways for the uninitiated) so I looked like I was carrying an oversized watermelon. It's not a look I'd recommend for anyone.

On the plus side though, I didn't realise I was pregnant until week 22 which is pretty damned pathetic for a second time mother. I mean, you'd sort of think I might have noticed that something was missing from my life. In fairness, the Conquering Hero was away 9 months of the year (I'm not even sure how he managed to impregnate me to be honest but I guess I must have been there), I was dealing with my gorgeous but super-spirited and extreeeemely high maintenance DS and we were in the process of renting out our house and moving to Ireland to join the CH, who was Kissingballyangels at the time so there was a lot going on in my life. But, it did mean that I only knew I was pregnant for 18 weeks so it went by pretty quickly.

Two of my closest girlfriends were also pregnant at the same time and I have a lovely photo of us all posing with our bumps. There was Jennifer, already on her 4th, looking glamourous with a bump like a small football neatly tucked up her clingy top, MR, positively glowing after trying so hard for years to have the first of her two beautiful daughters and me..... to be honest looking absolutely shagged out, frazzled, no make up and taking up a good half of the photo all on my own. Pregnancy didn't suit me one little bit, not least because I couldn't stand kids. Never had any intention of having my own until a slip up with the mini pill and a course of antibiotics. That said, I adore my lovely children (from afar) and wouldn't be without them for the world (for a few hours of peace it might just swing it though!)

2. What's on my to do list today?

Couldn't tell you or all those people out there would know I haven't actually done things I claimed to have accomplished weeks ago. Suffice to say, it will say the same tomorrow and the day after no doubt.

3. What would I do if I was a billionaire?

Well that's obvious. I'd keep a little bit for myself then spend the rest on charitable causes.

Would I heck as like? I'd spend, spend, spend. I'd buy a proper house in France instead of one that's falling down bit by bit (OK, a bit of an exaggeration), I'd buy a big house by the sea in the UK where I could go when I needed to get away from the snail like pace of rural France and where I could wear Jimmy Choos without fear of sinking in the mud. I'd buy a plane so I could fly around the world to buy the important things in life like M&S knickers. You don't realise how important they are until you can't get them!

I'd take my children to all the places they want to visit, buy my single parent brother a house, pay off my sister's mortgage., make sure my parents didn't want for anything and maybe, possibly, let the CH retire. But only maybe.

4. Five places I've lived

Bahrain - a four year party, getting groped by the Emir (whoops, another Fatwa!), questionable parties with questionably members of the Royal Family (oh, bums, another Fatwa), waterskiing, sundowners and dancing on Jim's coffee table. Hey big Spender on the table of La Taverna, crashing in to a Sheikhs car then scarpering... memories, memories!

Cyprus - six months in a hotel opposite Robson Green in his black underpants and Jerome Flynn and his sulky, I-just-wanna-smack it face. Long drives in the mountains with my friend Maggie, sunshine, snow, lemon trees and a 5 star hotel all to ourselves. Bliss

Prague - too many cobbles and the unforgettable double barf of DS and DD in the back of the car.

Tunbridge Wells - not the original 'Disgusted of' but a close second

France - oh yes, that's where I am now.

5. Three bad habits

Only three.... not sure I can narrow it down that much. Hmm, let me think....

6. Five jobs I've had

1. Airstewardess
2. Picture Framer
3. PR accounts Director
4. International Woman of Mystery
5. Leaver of old ladies in baths

Right, that's me then. I would now like to tag Goodbyetoallfat, Hadriana (when she's back from marauding around Europe) and Frenchteen. Apologies to anyone who doesn't like being tagged. I leave it up to you to decide if you want to play or not.


Jaywalker said...

Aha, you see I knew it would be blog gold. Celebrities, royals, Fatwas, M&S pants! I want more on all of these topics now. Thanks for playing VLiF...

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Just read your other post too - Debunking the myth - fantastic, really truthful and quite an eye opener! An excellent post and kept me fascinated as myself and himself had been pondering over having a holiday home in France. Think I'll buy in the Peak District instead1

(Very) Lost in France said...

Jaywalker - ooh, I can't spill the beans all at once but I will, I promise.My stories from the Middle East are hilarious and will probably get me stoned (and not with a class A drug either!) VLiF

(Very) Lost in France said...

MOB - don't get me wrong, France is a great place (as long as you don't have to live here full time!) VLiF

blogthatmama said...

VLiF I'm working on my first tag too but what a hoot yours was, sounds like a modern day Carry On film with a touch of arsenic and old lace (you had to be sharp to get the reference but I noticed the leaver of old ladies in the bath..) . Looking forward to hearing more, blogthatmama

(Very) Lost in France said...

Blogthatmama - glad you enjoyed it. Leaving old ladies in the bath was one of the less proud moments of my life. Good luck with your tag. They're kinda fun! VLiF