Thursday, September 18, 2008

You know that life is over when........

1. Your bedtime reading is an article on the implications of different colours of chicken poo

2. Your 'must do' chore for the following day is finding out how to make your chicken vomit

3. You spend the whole of the next day trying to make your chicken vomit

4. Your single estate cold pressed extra virgin Olive oil is now being liberally squirted down the throat of a poorly chicken.

5. You are closely inspecting your chicken's poo

6. You only score 1/50 (well two if you count my funky Italian neoprene wellies) on Jaywalker's Times List of 50 things every English girl should have.

That's it, my life is over.........

15 comments:

Frankofile said...

Not sure I made it to 1/50 - my Breton top is a supermarket version.

Best wishes to the chicken.

Eve said...

Nah, you know your life is over when you read a blog about the colour of chicken poo and immediately grab a torch and head for the garden , before stopping yourself just in time. After all, I've got to find the article and read it first.

The Accidental Author said...

Frankofile - we should start a club! Thanks for your get well wishes for my chicken. (Is it me or does that sound weird!) VLiF

The Accidental Author said...

Eve - thanks for dropping by. You are truly a sick woman We should start another club! VLiF

Mean Mom said...

OK. Now I'm just thankful that I don't keep chickens.

Have also read the previous post. What a piece of luck that was, wasn't it? You'll be taking him up on his offer, of course? It's an opportunity not to be missed, after all. Bet he knows a dead person, with lots of money and no relations with my surname, too. ;0)

Georgina said...

I had a sick Cock two years ago, Bob was in the YUK so I googled Wheezy Cock! Very interesting. It turned out to be gape worm, nothing like google suggested. All is well now though. Debs x

Eve said...

Yup you may have to email me that article, although the chickens will have to live without the olive oil. Can't stand the stuff, must be a genetic fault.

Sandi McBride said...

ummm...is this a pet chicken? I mean, it's not one you're planning for Sunday dinner is it? I hope the chicken feels better, I've given up hope on anyone who considers their life over...it could be worse, you know...you could be checking the color of skunk poo...
Sandi

teapot said...

Thanks VLIF, 50 thingies list has just given me great christmas present ideas.

I will have to look out for women wearing No 40, is that true?

Shakespeare's Housekeeper said...

Hello Vlif!
Great blog- really enjoyed reading your posts.
Never been to France meself..maybe one day i'll get there!

Thanks for visiting my blog- i'm certainly going to be coming back to yours.

Shakespeare's Housekeeper xx

blogthatmama said...

VLiF call the vet! Now I'll have to spend the evening looking at that list instead of ironing school uniform...

The Accidental Author said...

Mean Mom - well? are you a wealthy woman now. Did the nice man in Malaysia find a recently deceased, childless millionaire with the same surname as you? VLiF

The Accidental Author said...

Debs - My old Maran hen is a bit wheezy so maybe I should look into this gapeworm thing too. VLiF

Sandi - no, I make it a point not to eat anything I've given a name to. Don't give up on me.. I know there are millions worse off than me, it's just sometimes I wonder how I went from urbangirl to peasantgirl in such a short space of time! VLiF

The Accidental Author said...

BTM - sadly Raymondette (don't blame me for the name) shuffled this mortal coil despite my best efforts. How did you get on with the list? VLiF

The Accidental Author said...

Teapot - oh don't ask me! I only scored 1-2/50 and in any case a shag-me-bra would probably be wasted on someone whom half the local community has already seen naked!!! VLiF