Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Festive Fallout

.... is what you get when you've overdosed on Christmas. I hope everyone had a lovely day, not too many arguments around the Christmas Table and finally telling your brother-in-law you think he's a real plonker, granny getting drunk on the brandy butter and all the usual delights that accompany this wonderful family day.

Ours was fairly par for the course. The cat got stuck up the Christmas Tree, the dog set her tail alight (candles on the hearth and Golden non-retrievers don't seem to be a good mix) and DS got an electric shock from the Christmas Turkey...... don't even ask! But we all came through it none the worst for wear and with all working parts intact and better still, on Boxing Day we even had snow! Yes, we do get snow here in deepest South West France. What we don't get though is gritters or snow ploughs so it makes for interesting times in the car.

Yesterday was my birthday. It's a crap time to be born, to be honest, and I think my parents could have maybe thought a bit before they... well, you know what I mean. It's all very well to go gooey eyed on my brother's first birthday and say 'Darling, I think we should have another baby' but a quick count up should have flagged up the warning 'Christmas Baby'. Still, my mum's birthday is 23rd December, so I guess she just wanted to make someone else suffer. DS's birthday is 15th December so that's not too close and he was 2 weeks late so he's only got himself to blame really. My grandma was the best though. She was born and died on 25th December! What's the odds on that I wonder? Didn't make for a very happy Christmas that year though.

I have to tell you about one of my birthday presents as it was truly sublime (Hmm, is that really the right word for it?)

Anyone here in France will probably be familiar with the annual 'Les Dieux du Stade' nude calendar that the French Rugby team produces each year. Here are a few photos from the last calendar which some of the girls may enjoy and will have the men rushing to dig out that old Bullworker...

Well, not to be left out, some of the gorgeous hunks of French manhood in our area have produced their own version 'Les Dieux du Quercy Blanc' (The Gods of the Quercy Blanc- that being the name for our region of France). Now, I think they are using the word 'Gods' in it's very loosest sense. One of the photos is of a local cattle dealer posing naked with one of his cows and to be completely honest I found the cow more attractive.

Really, it's just a bit of fun and I take my hat off to them but I do have a few tiny suggestions for the next one...

1. Take your socks off well before the photo shoot so you don't have sock indentations round your ankles

2. A week before try to get an all-over suntan as the preponderance of 'farmer's arms' was just a little unattractive
3. Dreadlocks are just a little bit 20th Century

4. If you haven't got the confidence to go completely naked, make sure your underwear doesn't show in the photo

If anyone would like to order a copy of the calendar I'm sure I can track one down for you and if nothing else it makes a nice change from the usual cute, fluffy animal or views of France.


blogthatmama said...

VLiF, I am nearly crying with laughter, please put up a couple of teaser photos of the local Gods, it will make my festive season, especially the vineyard owner. A very happy New Year and I hope you and I sell those houses in 2009! Blogthatmamax

Lehners in France said...

I think I would prefer the "gods of the Stadium" thanks! I've been mingling with men who collect tractors this Christmas, so not that much different either side of the sleeve! Debs x
Have a great new year, we've changed plans again and now it's Suffolk AGAIN!!!!

justme said...

Yes, yes! I want! That is SOOOOO funny......cant you put the pics up for us???

Femin Susan said...

Absolutely fantastic post! Good job!
Great! Keep posting
Good week………
" A Happy New Year''

(Very) Lost in France said...

BTM - I promise I'll do some photos of the calendar in the New Year. I had a look on the net but, hey, this is South West France, so it was always hoping too much! Fingers crossed for our houses too. One of us must get lucky surely! Happy New Year VLiF xxxx

DEBS! How are you? Did you get my Christmas card? Collecting tractors eh? We sure know how to root them out! Suffolk, yep, it's on our list too but the weather....Wasn't Framlingham voted the best place in the UK to live last year? Be in touch soon and Happy 2009! VLiF xxxx

(Very) Lost in France said...

Justme - watch this space! Happy New Year! VLiF xxx

Femin_Susan - Hi and welcome to my blog. Thanks for dropping by and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had a look over at yours... wow, all those blogs, how do you keep up with them all! Good for you. I'd love to know where you live too. Have a lovely 2009 VLiF

Shakespeare's Housekeeper said...

Your posts really are the best, VliF!
Hubby did a calender for charity once, when he was teaching drama.
The theme was 'from the movies', and he was a naked Indiana Jones...i'm finding it quite hard to type this, as i'm laughing about your local gods, and my poor man and what he looked like too.
Totally starkers, but no sock indents...he's no Indiana, bless him.
I believe there is still a copy of the calender (which was done about six years ago now)in a toilet, in a guesthouse on the Isle Of Iona.
Still displaying February and my hubby's arse.
Happy new year to you and yours!

SH xxxxx

Shakespeare's Housekeeper said...


HAPPY (belated)BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

SH xx

Le laquet said...

What?? You couldn't find any BIGGER pics to post here?? *stalks away to sulk*

Barbara Martin said...

Thanks for the laughs, and the few photos. Calendars of this sort can be fun!

(Very) Lost in France said...

SH - do you suppose you could get them to send a photo of your husband's rear end? I could put it on my blog!! Thanks for the birthday wishes. VLiF x

Le Laquet - I'm sorry, that was just plain selfish wasn't it. I can lend you a magnifying glass if you want. VLiF

Hi Barbara and welcome to my blog. Glad you enjoyed it. Just wait for the photos of our local gods. I lost my camera charger but I've found it again so hopefully.... VLiF

Anonymous said...

I am catching up late as I have been away - this reduced me to tears if kaughter. Sublime indeed -I am so looking forward to seeing the local gods - though a few more of the national ones would be appreciated too.

Debra in France said...

Gorgeous calendar!! I dread to think what would happen if the farmers in our village did a Gods of Puyboreau calendar, especially as they are all over 80! Happy new year xxx