Festive Fallout

.... is what you get when you've overdosed on Christmas. I hope everyone had a lovely day, not too many arguments around the Christmas Table and finally telling your brother-in-law you think he's a real plonker, granny getting drunk on the brandy butter and all the usual delights that accompany this wonderful family day.

Ours was fairly par for the course. The cat got stuck up the Christmas Tree, the dog set her tail alight (candles on the hearth and Golden non-retrievers don't seem to be a good mix) and DS got an electric shock from the Christmas Turkey...... don't even ask! But we all came through it none the worst for wear and with all working parts intact and better still, on Boxing Day we even had snow! Yes, we do get snow here in deepest South West France. What we don't get though is gritters or snow ploughs so it makes for interesting times in the car.

Yesterday was my birthday. It's a crap time to be born, to be honest, and I think my parents could have maybe thought a bit before they... well, you know what I mean. It's all very well to go gooey eyed on my brother's first birthday and say 'Darling, I think we should have another baby' but a quick count up should have flagged up the warning 'Christmas Baby'. Still, my mum's birthday is 23rd December, so I guess she just wanted to make someone else suffer. DS's birthday is 15th December so that's not too close and he was 2 weeks late so he's only got himself to blame really. My grandma was the best though. She was born and died on 25th December! What's the odds on that I wonder? Didn't make for a very happy Christmas that year though.

I have to tell you about one of my birthday presents as it was truly sublime (Hmm, is that really the right word for it?)

Anyone here in France will probably be familiar with the annual 'Les Dieux du Stade' nude calendar that the French Rugby team produces each year. Here are a few photos from the last calendar which some of the girls may enjoy and will have the men rushing to dig out that old Bullworker...

Well, not to be left out, some of the gorgeous hunks of French manhood in our area have produced their own version 'Les Dieux du Quercy Blanc' (The Gods of the Quercy Blanc- that being the name for our region of France). Now, I think they are using the word 'Gods' in it's very loosest sense. One of the photos is of a local cattle dealer posing naked with one of his cows and to be completely honest I found the cow more attractive.

Really, it's just a bit of fun and I take my hat off to them but I do have a few tiny suggestions for the next one...

1. Take your socks off well before the photo shoot so you don't have sock indentations round your ankles

2. A week before try to get an all-over suntan as the preponderance of 'farmer's arms' was just a little unattractive

3. Dreadlocks are just a little bit 20th Century

4. If you haven't got the confidence to go completely naked, make sure your underwear doesn't show in the photo

If anyone would like to order a copy of the calendar I'm sure I can track one down for you and if nothing else it makes a nice change from the usual cute, fluffy animal or views of France.